►Need a dipper change (change their diaper)
►They want their pacifier (sometimes you have to try several times to get them to latch on)
►They are hungry (feed them)-if they don’t take the bottle don’t force it.
►They need to burp (pat their back softly)-this is a real common one!! Be patient, walk around while burping them to calm yourself and the baby down.
- If needed call a friend or family member and talk about it until you are calm. VENT!
- You can also call a helpline and stay on the phone until your anger is gone 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453) (ask to speak with a counselor or press 1). Sometimes just to step away for a minute and calm yourself down is all you need to approach the situation with a clear pair of eyes. It is easier for you to go away from the situation than to try and tell your children to leave you have a moment alone. NEVER TAKE ANGER OUT ON CHILDREN
HOW TO USE TIME OUT EFFECTIVELY
HOW CAN I DEAL WITH DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR AND SETTING LIMITS?
WORDS TO USE DAILY WITH CHILDREN
HOW TO COPE AS A SINGLE PARENT
101 FREE (LOW COST) THINGS TO DO WITH KIDS DURING SUMMER
PARENTING RESOURCES
LOCAL (EL PASO COUNTY, TEXAS)
Child Crisis Center of El Paso - Services may include critical need for parental stress relief, parent/sibling hospitalization, an incarcerated parent, a parent being admitted into an alcohol/drug rehabilitation program, homelessness, deportation, a temporary Child Protective Placement (CPS), and/or utilities disconnect). We offer families the support needed to stabilize their immediate situation, as well as their lives as a whole to prevent the situation from occurring again.
Avance - Parent-Child Education Program Model consists of weekly three hour classes that span the school calendar of September to May, early childhood education for the children of the adult participants, home visits, transportation to and from program services, advocacy and support, and special events and holiday celebrations.
Paso Del Norte Children's Development Center - Incredible Year's Parenting Classes is a program aimed at preventing the development of child problem behaviors and promoting children's social and academic successes. They help parents build a strong and positive relationship with their children through praise and positive reinforcements.
Family Advocacy Program (Ft. Bliss) - The Army Family Advocacy Program coordinates and provides numerous programs, services and activities that support our families. Our goal is to develop parenting skills and knowledge, reduce stressors that may increase the risk of child abuse or neglect. And help families cope with the adjustments, changes of military life.
ONLINE RESOURCES
Center for Effective Parenting Provides helpful parenting information and tips.
Child Care Aware Committed to helping parents find the best information on locating quality child care and child care resources in their community.
KIDS COUNT Data Book Project by the Annie E. Casey Foundation to track status of children in the United States.
NetSmartz Interactive, educational safety resource that teaches kids and teens how to stay safer on the Internet.
Circle of Parents Network of parent-led self-help groups where parents and caregivers can share ideas, celebrate successes, and address the challenges surrounding parenting.
Focus Adolescent Services Resources on Teen and Family Issues. Topics include anger, violence, self injury such as carving, branding and marking, and abuse.
Teen’s Health Created by The Nemours Foundation’s Center for Children’s Health Media, Teens Health provides teens and families with up-to-date, jargon-free advice about health, relationships, and growing up. Topics include issues such as depression and self-cutting, abuse in the family, and safety basics such as Internet safety.
Family and Marriage Counseling Directory Articles, resources, and databases for finding family and marriage counselors.
Parents Anonymous The nation’s oldest for information on child abuse prevention
Other helpful tips
►They are hot/cold (make sure they are dressed according to the ambient temperature)
►They have colic (this is also common with babies, ask the pediatrician for remedies)
►They want to be held (sometimes babies just want love. Hold them or walk around with them)
►Something else hurts them (if they cry non-stop no matter what you do please take them to seek medical attention either pediatrician or emergency room) Some pediatricians offices have after hours numbers to speak to nurses for advice on medical issues-call them and see if they can assist.
Situation and How Positively Handle them Sometimes our tolerance levels are not what they normally are. We all encounter situations such as these but maybe at the time don’t know how to handle them effectively. Take a look at these scenarios.
This is a big issue especially for new parents. Babies communicate with us through crying. They are not doing it to get you mad or annoy you. Some reasons why babies cry – check and eliminate one by one:
Instead of trying to solve the issues between siblings at a time where you may not be mentally ready, send each child to a different room in the house so the fighting, bickering, tattle telling stops. The children will calm down, you’ll get some peace and quiet and you will be able to address the issue at a later time when you are ready to. If your children are not listening to you and you feel like you are on the verge of “exploding”, send them to their room and find a quiet place to have some “me” time.
Please read “be slow to get angry” section below for the solution.
HOW TO HANDLE A CRYING BABY
- Be SLOW to get ANGRY Sometimes we can lose our control if we give in to Anger. Please DON’T HURT your children because you are Angry. A lot of times we are tired, stressed, busy or just not in the mood to have to deal with children yelling, whining, fighting, etc, but that doesn’t mean that it’s ok for you to take it out on the children. Remember you chose to have children in your life!
- IF YOU ARE LOSING YOUR PATIENCE, PLEASE TAKE A TIME OUT!!
o Check that all children are safe and that it’s safe for you to take a time out (baby on crib,
children inside the house, nothing on the stove, etc)
o Go to the bathroom and close the door
o Go to a room and close the door
o Step out to the backyard o Just take a time out alone
DON'T TAKE YOUR ANGER OR STRESS OUT ON YOUR CHILDREN
- Let your child know that you believe in his/her ability to do the right thing. Speak respectfully (in tone and word) to your child. Consider saying, "I know how you like to help," instead of saying, "Don't bother me." Instead of saying, "You always forget to wait your turn," try saying, "I know you'll remember to wait your turn next time."
- Set firm limits and rules children can understand. Use a firm, kind voice, and keep directions short. You may need to repeat rules and directions until your child remembers for himself. "You may not watch that television program. You may turn it off, or I will do it." "When you put your shoes on, we will go outside." "Yes, I know you're eager to go, but the car will not start until you are in your car seat."
- Share as many happy times together as possible. Children sometimes act out because they want attention. Let him/her know you enjoy being with him. Laugh, play, hug, talk and cuddle your child. Compliment good efforts even if the result isn't perfect. Talk with and read to her. Doing these things lets children know that they are important to you and encourages them to want to please you. This applies to ALL AGES.
It takes time, readiness, and practice for children to learn to follow rules just as it does for them to learn physical skills, such as walking, or social skills, such as sharing. Learn more about typical behavior for your child's age. Try to let them know that you are the leader and that you are there to help them grow.
- Show that you understand why he/she wants to do what you don't want him/her to do. "I know that you want to stay on the playground longer, but…" or "I know that you want me to buy this outfit for you, but…" You can say no to an action without shaming the child for his/her reasons.
- Give a brief reason why you can't do what she/he wants you to do. Be honest, but let her/him know you are fair and in charge. "It will be time for dinner soon, and I need to be home to get it ready, we don’t have time." "Candy may hurt your teeth."
- Offer a solution or an alternative. Even if you believe she/he knows better, you can remind her/him. Try saying, "Sand is not to be thrown. Try letting it trickle through your fingers, or put it into the cup," or "Don't hit people. Tell me in words if you're angry, or hit your punching toy," or “We can’t go shopping today but we can go get some smoothie.” Remind her/him that there are other choices. You can say, "Would you like to pick out a pack of sugarless gum or an apple instead?" or "We can't stay now, but we can come back tomorrow." Be consistent in following through on these choices.
How do young children learn self-control, self-help, ways to get along with others, and family and school procedures? Such learning occurs when parents and teachers of infants, toddlers, or preschoolers are continuously involved in setting limits, encouraging desired behaviors, and making decisions about managing children.
When making these decisions, caregivers often ask themselves these questions: Am I disciplining in a way that hurts or helps this child's self-esteem? Will my discipline help the child develop self-control? The following tips suggest methods and language that can be used in handling common situations involving young children
using words to discipline your Children
Even the seasoned parent needs a little help dealing with common parenting issues. We've compiled a great list of tips and advice for all those challenging situations, plus a great list of places you can turn to for help and support.